Filed under: behavior | Tags: behavior, domestic partnership, donor, family, inseminate, lisa loeb, people, politics, pregnancy
I wonder where Lisa Loeb is now? Is she married with a family? Becoming domesticated with her family life. Or is she playing small gigs at coffee shop type places or small bars while people are holding the locally brewed dark ale in one hand, pocket in jeans, and swaying side to side to the tune of “So” while reminiscing of their adolescents? I layed in bed last night and an old melodramatic song of hers kept repeating in my head. Oh how i related so much to Lisa Loeb in high school. Everything was so dreadfully painful in my youth. All problems were life and death and heartbreaking. I work with high schoolers everyday. I am beyond empathetic to their dramas or day-to-day. How a boy breaks their hearts or they can’t get a date to winter formal. At the same time I see how easy they have it. Good wholesome kids whose parents give them everything they can. They haven’t had to make life changing decisions, their parents make them for them. I have trouble saying no to those I love, somewhat to my detriment. I’m not sure when it happened. But Lisa Loeb’s lyrics don’t speak the way they used to.
and you say i only hear what i want to:
i don’t listen hard,
i don’t pay attention to the distance that you’re running
or to anyone, anywhere,
i don’t understand if you really care,
i’m only hearing negative: no, no, no.
Does that not scream teenager??? However, to this day the most negative comes from me from what i tell myself. So, many life changes we are going through now, leading to so many emotions. Emotions I basically suck at expressing. I am broken - in the injured sense and somewhat dramatic – we have to put things off on our baby plans until I get through my knee surgery and my back allows me to continue day-to-day without excruciating pain. Through this Brooke has talked about going back to school. While we also struggle paying for our insemination.
Oh how I long for the days when this was simpler a could brood over a song that made sense and made me feel I wasn’t along in the world.
you say i only hear what i want to.
you say i talk so all the time so.
and i thought what i felt was simple,
and i thought that i don’t belong,
I really wish it was as simple as an english test…..
Filed under: behavior | Tags: domestic partnership, inseminate, lesbian family, OBGYN, people, politics, pregnancy, prejudice
Often one of my crazy conceptions I have had in my head about bringing more people into the world is really the state of the world. The state of people, the ideas they have, and the hated for others. I am weary of people in general. What I am always amazed is the ways people come together. It takes a horrible event in Haiti make people care about one individual thing. Suddenly, there is a common goal, a solidarity among people. This want to help others and be grateful for what you have. Other things – sporting events. Last night Brooke and I went to a Portland Trailblazers basketball game. Thousands of people whom in day-to-day life might completely despise each other bond with their desire for “their” team to annihilate another. This for some reason never ceases to amaze me. A common goal among strangers brings anyone closer together. This phenomenon is honestly one of the things that melts my heart for whatever reason. On the other hand being that one person with a jersey on from the “other” team, is not in luck. People that would normally be pleasant in day-to-day life take such personal disrespect because of your choice of team. Strangers attack someone because they are from somewhere else and dare to cheer for “their” team. This makes me weary of people. This ruins this wonderful utopia of togetherness.
What people think to themselves, I often wonder. Would I rather them say it to my face? We sat by an old man and his grandson he seemed so nice and I wondered what he though when I put my arm around Brooke. So, quickly people’s idea of another can change. So swiftly can a hatred be ignited. Whether someone supporting the team you want to lose or there is an interracial couple. What if you take off you jacket mid-conversation with someone and you have an Obama shirt when they voted for Cain? What if someone is telling you how cute your baby is and they ask about the father and you say she has two mommies? I cannot predict how people will always react, instead I am weary of many people. And in awe of how minor things can cause a complete stranger to have utter hatred for you.
Filed under: behavior | Tags: adoption, baby, behavior, donor, drama, family, family conflict, GLBT, inseminate, kids these days, lesbian, lesbian family, pregnancy, support
It makes me feel unbelievably old when I say it, but I just have to. I can’t believe kids these days. They behavior, the music they listen to, the things they say, how they treat their elders. I mean what happened to respect and behavior. Mind you I spend most of my time watching spoiled teenage athletes I don’t spend a lot of time with “normal” kids. One of my great fears of being a parent is that my son or daughter will be a rude pain in the ass. Some of these kids I would be embarrassed to have as my own children. I saw a boy yesterday basically verbally abusing his parents and they just took it. Kids throw their racquets and throw out f bombs on the court and no reaction. If my kid was cussing anyone out especially for no reason I’d take their racquets away. I had a ten year old girl recently ask me about Young Jeezy. This girl is actually from a conservative family. She was telling me all the music she listens to. The thing is she doesn’t even know what they are saying, but it’s popular and she likes the tune or something. I am appalled at these sounds like “I want to have sex with every girl in the world” and “take a ride on my disco stick” what appalls me more is that kids that don’t understand it are listening to it and that parents let them. I didn’t have many rules as a kid, but I know one was that I couldn’t watch The Simpsons. My mom thought it was inappropriate. Now I watch the Family Guy(which I think is hysterical) but is so much more inappropriate for kids than The Simpsons.
What drives me crazy are these parents who want to be friends with their kids and forget to be parents. I want my kids to like me, but I don’t want them to be able to get whatever they want and expect whatever they want. It’s like those moms who still wear the same clothes as their daughters. Or dads who “hang” with their sons and think using the same “slang” doesn’t date them. I want to act my age, but be interesting and not dated.
I get beyond annoyed by these kids, but I wonder what their parents are doing at home to allow them to act like they do. Or think degrading other people is appropriate. Kids barely know how to spell because they abbreviate everything via text or IM and barely know how to interact socially because they do so much electronically.
I know not all kids are like this, but they few (or many) bad apples make the whole generation look like a nightmare and I know I do not want to fear my own children.
